Obituary of Shirley Ann Thornton
NISKAYUNA –
My mom, Shirley Ann (Potente) Thornton lived, laughed and loved for 89 years before passing away peacefully on April 26, 2024.
Shirley was born on November 26, 1934 in Schenectady, New York to beloved parents Josephine (Giuseppina) and Mario Potente. Her childhood was full of love, fun and family. Growing up in an Italian-American neighborhood, Shirley’s days were enjoyed with close cousins and friends. She often told the story of playing ‘house’ with her cousins Louis and Tony and pretending to send young Tony to the store for groceries. Tony took his role seriously and hopped on his bike, returning a short time later with a loaf of Italian bread, salami and cheese. He had put the grocery order on his grandmother’s tab.
My mom was a giver with a huge heart who learned early what it meant to share as she grew up during The Great Depression. In her neighborhood, a walk down the street to a friend’s meant whatever was simmering on the stove or pulled from the oven made its way to many plates. Invitations weren’t necessary, doors were open and kitchens were truly the heart of the home. As a young girl, Shirley would often gift wrap small treasures she found in her mom’s kitchen drawers and happily deliver these presents to nearby family and friends. Her mom loved to recall sitting in a neighbor’s kitchen and noticing a familiar bottle opener on the table. When she told her friend she had one just like it, her friend laughed and told her, “Josie, I think this is your bottle opener. Shirley gave it to me.”
Shirley adored her cousin Helen and they were inseparable. She loved to recall her family’s Saturday evening ritual-Aunt Amelia would make homemade pizza, games were played and amid much laugher, stories were told…and retold. At midnight, her dad and Uncle Nick would take their girls out to get the Sunday paper…and hot dogs! These simple times with the people she loved were among her most treasured memories.
In an Italian family, every meal shared is a celebration and a table struggling to support the weight of platters of ‘everything’ parmagiana, mountains of meatballs and countless cakes and cookies was considered an abundance of wealth. Money made in factories, corner stores and pizzerias was spent to nourish and nurture. “Mangia” was both an invitation to enjoy and a command to consume!
Shirley had a special relationship with her much-adored Aunt Nanny. It’s almost impossible to describe how much love was shared between the two. Aunt Nanny was the life of the party, a round-the-clock hostess whose home was the central gathering place for daily doses of laughter and family lore. Seven days a week, Aunt Nanny prepared a full meal to be enjoyed by whomever happened to visit that day. She would call my mom every day to relay the menu, which often included our favorite pork roast, minestra or pizza fritta, to be sure we would secure a spot at the table before it was gone!
This treasured family tradition of preparing and sharing meals has thankfully stood the test of time and my mom certainly did her part with holiday feasts, birthday celebrations and an endless stream of tempting treats always making their way from her kitchen to her family. (Many miles have been jogged around Memorial Park to keep up with this endless flow of food!) In fact, when we arrived to pick her up for a visit to Maine, she proudly presented us with a pan the size of a row boat filled to the brim with my favorite eggplant parmigiana. Her overnight bag was smaller. My mom never went anywhere empty-handed. It usually required a crew to carry what she had prepared to share.
I vividly remember my elementary school’s annual Election Day bake sale. I carefully carried my mom’s decadent and much-desired chocolate cake on my lap as we drove to school that morning. This simple, indescribably delicious cake covered in a blanket of buttercream frosting was highly sought after…casting ballots was second to voters sprinting to the tables in search of this legendary gem. I still bake that cake every year for James’ birthday. It simply has no competition for the centerpiece of our most celebrated days.
Shirley graduated from Mont Pleasant High School in Schenectady in 1953. She was a member of the National Honor Society and she worked part-time as a teller at Schenectady Trust Company. But the girl whose yearbook photo was accompanied by the quote “Dark eyes and a flashing smile, happy and gay all the while” made time for fun too! She met Dan Thornton, a charming and handsome athlete with an equally engaging smile, and the high school sweethearts were married in 1956.
My mom worked as a stenographer at General Electric and the engineers she worked alongside also benefited from her need to nourish everyone. When she was pregnant, she made Ritz cracker and peanut butter sandwiches to stave off morning sickness. She shared them, and you know the rest of the story. They were a hit, so she began making plenty to pass around. With such a natural inclination to celebrate the joys of life and soothe the sorrows, she later became a talented floral designer for family friend and florist John J. Gallo.
My childhood friends still marvel over my mom’s endless energy and can-do spirit. Angela, who has been my friend since second grade, still laughs about the harrowing rides in the back of my mom’s station wagon, recalling how “we held onto each other for dear life” as my mom raced around town…and we rolled from side to side. She had a lead foot and a determination to accomplish whatever she set out to do. She earned the nickname ‘Shirley Whirley.’ Halloween costumes? Check! Prom dresses? Check! Impromptu parties for teenagers? Check! PTA event? Check! Little League volunteer? Check! Seven dozen cupcakes for the 6th grade party? Check! When she skidded to a halt in front of the Theta house at Syracuse, my roommate Lori and I would eagerly embark on the process of unloading her car…a parade of Tupperware containers stuffed with brownies and cookies.
Nothing was impossible and she had a solution for it all. All that gift giving as a young girl gave way to another passion…shopping! And with that…even more gift giving! As teenagers, we had no trouble convincing my mom that we absolutely had to go to the mall…she was always game.
The Beach Boys were her favorite band by a mile, and I remember how she would blast their songs on the car radio and sing along. Shirley surely loved seafood, anything that could survive in the water would not last long on her plate. She loved the bounty of lobster, clams and haddock in Maine and savoring it all with her family at Red’s Eats and Bet’s Fish Fry. Italian pastry shop Civitello’s was a frequent stop…their eclairs were her indulgence...and when I visited recently, she greeted me with a box of their goodies. Her love language was buttered up and baked with mascarpone and almond paste. A peek in her freezer revealed another sweet secret-Stewart’s ice cream!
My mom loved all the fun she had with friends at the Niskayuna Senior Center where she was a natural entertainer, often leading the efforts to plan parties and special events, decorate and of course, bake! Concerns about cholesterol levels were set aside for a sample of whatever Shirley had whipped up for the crowd. Outings to Saratoga for the races, Cooperstown to visit The Baseball Hall of Fame, local musicals and theater productions filled much of her time. Sharp as a tack, she loved to challenge herself with crossword puzzles and she read the newspaper every day so she could call us to relay the local news and sports highlights. She watched baseball and cheered loud and proud for her beloved Boston Red Sox and the Houston Astros…thrilled beyond words to see both teams win the World Series…but this native New Yorker wanted nothing to do with the Yankees!
My mom has always been my biggest fan and her support is unwavering. She watched as I worked so hard to perfect a cartwheel and launch myself into the air over and over again as I practiced for cheerleading tryouts. When the names of those who made the squad were posted after school, my walk home turned into a full-out sprint as my house came into view. When I got closer, I could see my mom standing in the doorway, waiting. Would the news be cause for celebration or consolation? She didn’t wait long. I started waving and screaming.
It was impossible to have a conversation with my mom that did not involve, or honestly revolve, around her precious grandson James. When he was born, she somehow made it to the hospital without a speeding ticket and her absolute adoration of all things James never lost steam. They routinely talked about school and baseball, and later, his career. She was always listening intently and offering support, encouragement and of course, so much praise. When I called, I laughed about how quickly she would pivot from a topic I considered interesting to the far more important subject of James.
So many unforgettable moments were shared with my mom. The look on her face when I popped out of the dressing room in the first bridal gown I tried on…we knew it was the one. The way she lit up when she held James for the very first time…and every time after. Pure joy.
My mom always found a way…to be there for whatever was needed and to support her family and friends at times of joy and sorrow. Life has a way of throwing you a curve ball every now and then…but she somehow found a way to connect and hit it out of the park.
This is the story of my mom Shirley. It’s not a traditional obituary, it’s simply the story of her life and how she lived it. One of the things I will miss most is the chance to hear her tell the stories we’ve laughed about over and over again. Our lives are all a series of stories…our legacy and most treasured family heirlooms…and they run the gamut from heartwarming to heartbreaking. No matter what, they need to be told and treasured, passed along through the generations.
Shirley’s stories, and the way she laughed so hard she cried, will live in our hearts forever. We will always be able to hear her laugh…and feel her everlasting love.
Cremation has taken place through the care of Simple Choices, Inc.
Fond memories and expressions of sympathy may be shared with the Thornton Family, online at: SimpleChoicesCremation.com
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